I have... urinated on the Gateway Arch of St. Louis been ganged up on and punished by 6 of my friends for placing a pocket knife in a pillow, that inevitably created a scar below my friend's eye purchased a 1970's waterbed simply for the fact that it's sleazy called the cops when our neighbor got shot in the throat in front of my apartment complex the same day they found 2 dead bodies in the apartment complex where I lived prior attended a choir tour to Florida where we witnessed a murder in a motel bought a car for 350 bucks, fixed it for 250, then totaled it and sold it for scrap metal (50 bucks) had the game warden called on me when I was 13 for shooting blue jays in my backyard shot 21 raccoons in one night in the Florida swamps watched a friend punch a stranger in the nose after hitting him with his van won enough money in slots to pay for my weekend and my friends and return home in the black been to computer science camp performed as The Wizard in The Wizard of Oz memorized the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet pet a sting ray had my portrait made on the streets of Quebec tried out for the half-time show for the Super Bowl with a bunch of 13 year old cheerleaders had a room with an ocean view camped out in a van on the south side of LA to see the Price is Right after the van ran out of gas learned how to swing dance paddled in a canoe on Lake Louise tutored a senior level class when I was a sophomore in college broke in to a house we believe to be haunted seen a comet storm sang karaoke learned to juggle with three balls found a job i love ridden on the Autobahn owned a 1986 Pontiac Firebird with T-tops and leopard skin seat covers with a pink dome light spray painted my 1985 Pontiac Fiero to turn it in to a chalkboard - which was then towed for being unsightly due to a picture a child drew of a cop being shot ran the sound equipment for a mission trip seen the Sugar Hill Gang in concert been to a Medieval festival visited a nude beach taken a fan boat swamp tour eaten a multi-course banquet meal in a 6-star hotel in Beijing, China white water rafted a level 5 rapid sang in front of an audience caught a fish gigging (hitting it with a spear) adopted a cat gotten fired gone cliff jumping visited a rainforest received beads at Mardis Gras (St. Louis, 2nd largest festivities) won a cherry-seed spitting contest at a family reunion made girls cry while giving a toast at a wedding pierced my lip eaten twelve Taco Bell tacos in one sitting eaten two California Burritos in one sitting eaten an entire large pizza in one sitting spent the night in a treehouse fasted made a half-court shot, over my head, without looking slept on the job learned to drive on a stick shift gone off-roading in a Suzuki thrown a 20'' diameter pumpkin off of a 4 story building taken classes in martial arts spray painted my name on a street eaten a fish i caught owned dozens of gerbils and named them all Fred (or Fred-gina if female) laughed so hard i peed my pants made someone else laugh so hard they spit their drink all over me swam in the ocean during red tide (bioluminescent) flown and landed a plane driven a boat nearly been expelled from two universities shot myself with a bee-bee gun cut my own hair run with the bulls in Pamplona been to the Eiffel Tower hiked for hours alone in the Swiss Alps put a car on a credit card gone skinny dipping in the ocean gone skinny dipping in a church moat/river nearly been arrested by the FBI for terrorist activities drawn a Ouija board in the carpet of a living room been forced to fight my best friend by his older brother learned a foreign language lived in 5 states on the East, West, and Central coasts fallen off a mountain hidden in a trunk for a police checkpoint owned my own company been asked by the police to leave the set while yelling "I love you" to Sandra Bullock during the filming of Miss Congeniality 2 seen a friend get hit by a car (she's fine) lost miserably at strip-Uno had art gallery shows for my own work taught at a university been a guest speaker at a college class skied a double black diamond seen a bobcat in the wild been punched in the crotch by a 3 year old piloted a nuclear submarine (and shot a torpedo) won awards for playing the piano won awards for designing web pages won awards for singing won awards for performing in drama seen GWAR in concert been in a love triangle had two girls get in a fight over me (slamming lockers, throwing books, etc. during school) been kicked out of a store snuck in to a concert been on the front of the Boston Globe travelled to: Mexico, Canada, Asia, Europe, and over 40 of the United States bribed a security guard to get in to a concert gotten locked in a locker while changing clothes totaled a car been through a tornado dated a girl that had breast augmentation surgery donated two cars and only used a bike for 9 months done my own laundry since the third grade sat in a bathroom and cried during my own birthday party been to an anti-war rally killed an animal by running over it with a car attended a Star Trek convention made and burned napalm sat in front of the computer for so long my nose began bleeding chased by a Camaro for disrupting a make-out session taken a 9 hour van ride through the Himalayas skipped class to sleep graduated college with a ponytail driven to St. Louis from Oklahoma and back in 35 hours (14 hour drive each way) won an award for most romantic man on campus (SNU '01) attended Catholic mass had the cops called on me planted a garden gone swimming and jumping off of a slide during a lightning storm buried a pet been the best man in a wedding cut my finger while widdling during chapel and had to get a tetanus shot received a sunburn so bad I had two 9 inch x 4 inch blisters and was unable to wear a shirt nearly died at birth gone over 24 hours without seeing another person flown home and surprised my mom for her 50th birthday touched The School of Athens by Raphael given a speech at a graduation ceremony dressed up in tin foil for halloween to get free burritos spent over 9 hours in one day playing video games touched a piece of the Berlin wall climbed 3 towers of the Great Wall of China stayed awake all night playing Nintendo with a group of guys because we heard if we beat the game, the main character will take her top off been the photographer for a wedding was in more clubs/organizations than anyone else in my graduating class from high school began a club in high school that failed because I was the only member (Multimedia Club) nearly kicked out of school for sending an anonymous computer message throughout the school stating the user was going to die run through a graveyard at night gone pool jumping been published spent an entire summer painting a barn backpacked Europe for a month backpacked in Yosemite for 4 days/5 nights broken my friend's back played badminton in a living room been electrocuted laid on a table in a mall as the model for an EKG example been part of a control group for a drug test been diagnosed with ADD took the ACT in 7th grade and received a score high enough to attend both universities I later attended gone surfing driven 4 complete strangers 2 hours in to Mexico and dropped them off had 3 wisdom teeth removed had braces been kicked out of the CN Tower in Toronto had to pay for a melted sink in a Mexican hotel taken horseback riding lessons worked at a paintball field worked at a haunted house had a fondu party been naked on the top of a mountain in the snow had a bird poop on my head attended La Biennale on my birthday cut my hair into a mullet started the wave at a baseball game taken the homecoming queen to prom been on a blind date gone sailing been to Las Vegas 6 times in a year and a half been to an oxygen bar been to Disneyland during a New Year's fireworks show been left while the rest of my family went to England created a 30+ foot slip-and-slide in my backyard played the game "slaps" for so long that I broke blood vessels on the backsides of their hands (still never lost) dressed up in a garbage bag to go bowling had a crush on a girl for over thirteen years built my own computer hacked in to a television channel won a belly-flop competition taken tennis lessons performed in a choir competition only a few miles away during the OKC bombing done a flip off a dirt bike been in a roman candle fight rolled my truck and the trailer I was towing during rush hour on the I-5 knit a scarf been yelled at for taking pictures been without medical insurance for years played blackjack at a Native American reservation casino flown a cat across the USA purchased a van on eBay sat in a prayer teepee in the middle of the night pirated software moved back in with my parents when things didn't go as planned danced in the rain wrestled and played mud football dressed up as Pee-Wee Herman for Halloween voted most likely to wear a costume in public by the high school drama department missed a flight dislocated my shoulder been diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder had an EEG to test for seizures been thousands of dollars in debt been in a fantasy football league broken a belt and blown a head gasket been towed over 10 times in a year had a road trip/project i'd been planning for over 6 months be delayed 3 months due to vehicle problems served at the Salvation Army helped create an in-climate weather shelter won a bet at the horse races been bucked off a horse purchased the last scalped ticket to Radiohead in concert in a 2000 year old Roman amphitheater in the south of France, on Bastille Day lived in a trailer in my friends' backyard performed Newsies in Show Choir dropped a class had a student drop my class taught myself HTML and Flash a client portfolio including Siemens, WAXIE, Kyocera, Eaton Corporation, Mitsubishi, and many others beaten Super Mario Brothers 3 been voted most outgoing by my senior class received my bachelor's degree been on TV stood at the "Four Corners" hiked in the Grand Canyon received a free $2000 laptop dug in the trash for McDonald's Monopoly coupons been to a punk rock arts and craft fair mooned a train in Orange County, CA during the "Annual Mooning of Amtrak" won at poker arm wrestled dozens of guys for free CDs at my friends' concert shot promotional photography for a band squished far too many friends in to a photo booth met Emilio Estevez at a wine tasting fundraiser purchased a $2,800 amethyst ring with 2.0 carats of diamonds at an auction - so i could pawn it seen Cuba play the Dominican Republic at the World Baseball Classic semi-finals had my Internet shut off for infringing on the Digital Millennium Copyright Act been given an eviction warning for sound violation hiked in a desert oasis nearly hit a deer in a wildlife refuge received a venus fly trap for Valentines Day presented photography at a faculty exhibition/art show been given a Miro print for Christmas wheeled a 6'x6'x3' refrigerator down University Avenue held a dying man's hand had to release a possum from a cat trap worked at a top 50 design firm received welts from Kamakazi Ping Pong punched a taxi turned down a job lived in a van lived in a loft apartment in Brooklyn lived in a studio apartment in Downtown, NYC had my picture taken by a stranger on the Brooklyn Bridge while kissing been suspected of spray painting and questioned by the police received blisters on my hands from a hammer by exposing brick been called a pothead gone to a concert for experimental musical instruments been in the New Yorker created a racist robot been called one of the most creative people one of my professors knows been added as a friend of Barack Obama on flickr almost gotten in to a fight in a club married off my brother played Pong with an iron seen a psychologist been rejected from graduate school been accepted to graduate school gone to graduate school been diagnosed with epilepsy spent a week in the ICU been in a coma taken the NYC subway to school twice a day rick roll'd a cat purchased a plane ticket 4 hours in advance to fly across the country created my own college course